I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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