I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
