that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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