Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
