Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
