Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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