Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
