If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
