Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
