Whod you bang
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
