There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
