I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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