dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Jerry, you need to find god
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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