On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
