Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
