My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
