she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
