even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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