but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
