Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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