HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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