well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
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