He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
