i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
