Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
