I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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