I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
