i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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