This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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