Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
