just come out here and I will go home with you...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
