soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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