Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think I sprained my soul last night
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
