His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
