So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
