what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
