very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Can you bring me the toilet please
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
