the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
