I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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