dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
