whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
