I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
