My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
