YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
