U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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