So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Im part way to drunk.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
