Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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