My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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