I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
