he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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