Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
