And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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